Have you ever had something you really wanted to talk about but kept putting it off because you were waiting for the right moment, or time, or phrase? And then before you know it, strangers stop to smile side-ways at you and the bag boy insists he carry your groceries to the car and you realize that as much as you might think things are going at snail’s pace, reality is in fact hurtling along faster than you really really realize?
It’s the reality that we need to start shopping for the toddler bed sooner rather than later. That I need to sift through brown boxes gathering dust in the basement. That my toes are soon to be hypothetical digits I believe in purely because I had once upon a time in fact laid eyes on them. It’s the reality that soon I will be doubling my joy, dividing my sleep, and multiplying my joy tenfold.
It’s also the reality that nothing is certain until it is. I don’t know if I’m the only one who along with the excitement, and anticipation, also feels a slight undercurrent of fear. Because blessings like this are not a given. They are not a right. And they are never certain until they are. While this time around, the journey has been smoother, it’s not something I take for granted. This must be why, despite dreams of little girls, and different cravings, and an early ultrasound [that led to us naming our little ‘girl’] when the doctor announced boy I felt a moment of surprise and then, a heaping outpouring of joy and gratitude. I’m gobsmacked to be here. Soon my son is going to be a big brother. I’m more thankful and hopeful than words can properly allow.
Please keep us in your prayers. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed, but here’s hoping for a healthy happy little guy come January. Ameen.