Me: Excuse me. Has anyone turned in a black wristlet and purple phone?
Clerk: Did you lose your wallet?
Me: I had it on the top of my car while I loaded my groceries and when I looked up it was gone.
Clerk: Are you sure you had it on top of your car?
Me: Yes, I put it there to free my hands. I distinctly remember it. Then I closed the door. And it was gone.
Clerk: Did you check your car thoroughly?
Me: Ofcourse I did!! I checked the trunk, my diaper bag, everything!
Clerk: Maybe you can double check, just to absolutely rule it out.
Me: No. I distinctly remember putting it on the roof of my car and now its not there.
Clerk: Yeah well, you wouldn’t believe how often people come here saying they lost their wallet but they never even brought it to the store with them.
Me: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?! I HAD MY WALLET. I BOUGHT GROCERIES WITH MY WALLET. I’VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE FOR MY WALLET. MY WALLET IS GONE.
Clerk: Okay. Sorry. Fill out your information, if we find it we’ll call you.
Forty minutes later after scouring the aisles, parking lot, and under the bottom of my car, I get in and on the bottom of the passenger seat? My wallet, and phone.
I take some comfort in the memory of a moment years ago when I insisted to mall security that I knew I parked my car by Dillard’s and yes I am quite sure and no I didn’t forget and park elsewhere how rude and why aren’t you filing a stolen car report the perps might be in Alabama by now only to pull up in the mall security golf cart to the Macy’s- and see my car. Yes, my memory sucks– but it appears to be a constant thing staying steadily bad over time. Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this on a [sadly] regular basis.