humor, life, memory

Those days you really wish someone stole your wallet

Me: Excuse me. Has anyone turned in a black wristlet and purple phone?
Clerk: Did you lose your wallet?
Me: I had it on the top of my car while I loaded my groceries and when I looked up it was gone.
Clerk: Are you sure you had it on top of your car?
Me: Yes, I put it there to free my hands. I distinctly remember it. Then I closed the door. And it was gone.
Clerk: Did you check your car thoroughly?
Me: Ofcourse I did!! I checked the trunk, my diaper bag, everything!
Clerk: Maybe you can double check, just to absolutely rule it out.
Me: No. I distinctly remember putting it on the roof of my car and now its not there.
Clerk: Yeah well, you wouldn’t believe how often people come here saying they lost their wallet but they never even brought it to the store with them.
Me: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?! I HAD MY WALLET. I BOUGHT GROCERIES WITH MY WALLET. I’VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE FOR MY WALLET. MY WALLET IS GONE.
Clerk: Okay. Sorry. Fill out your information, if we find it we’ll call you.

Forty minutes later after scouring the aisles, parking lot, and under the bottom of my car, I get in and on the bottom of the passenger seat? My wallet, and phone.

I take some comfort in the memory of a moment years ago when I insisted to mall security that I knew I parked my car by Dillard’s and yes I am quite sure and no I didn’t forget and park elsewhere how rude and why aren’t you filing a stolen car report the perps might be in Alabama by now only to pull up in the mall security golf cart to the Macy’s- and see my car. Yes, my memory sucks– but it appears to be a constant thing staying steadily bad over time. Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this on a [sadly] regular basis.

17 thoughts on “Those days you really wish someone stole your wallet”

  1. Lol! That must have been awkward. At least your wallet was safe though, looking on the bright side.

    I did that with a piece of coursework once. When I realised I never handed it in, I got a fail mark.

    Like

  2. 🙂 Anon and Pixie!

    Stacey, Susan, I am the most guilty of shuttering about in panic for glasses on my head or keys in my pocket, lol. thanks for relating!

    Kamille, for sure I am very glad I didnt lose it, just felt embarassed to be wrong when I first saw it lol. Thanks for relating though sorry to hear about a bad grade!

    Julia, thanks as always for your awesome comments 🙂 Glad you can relate!

    Like

  3. I had everyone in my mom's group (about 50 women) go through their purses because I thought someone else had picked them up on accident. I found the keys about 10 minutes later in my purse. I felt like the biggest jerk ever!

    Like

  4. Jamila, I've been this way well before mommyhood! lol 🙂

    Mystic- oh I'm a long time member, in fact I'm the president, vice president, and treasurer of the club, lol 😉

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s