humor, mall, motherhood, parenting, random, TV

Random thoughts of the mallish sort

I go to the mall religiously. Once a year. Maybe. My frequency might increase now that I’ve discovered one with a soft-play area perfect for Waleed to go nuts in. While I love playgrounds he is a little young for any sort of independent play there as they involve climbing stairs with large gaps and other challenges requiring hand-held monitoring which is just fine but the soft-play area in the mall is completely hands-free, he can climb on foam-like trucks and scamper through plastic tunnels and he can fall, fall, fall, literally flat on his face and hop up grinning because the floor- it too is soft. And while the attorney in me is wondering at how the mall justifies the potential liability of hundreds of falling kids each week, I am quite appreciative they have it, a place for him to play age-appropriately and for me to sit back and watch him attack things that are not my leather couch.

Except that thirty minutes into playing, he suddenly stopped playing, stared up at the Dillard’s in the distance, his jaw dropped in full astonishment like he had at last spotted the promised land and without even a moment’s warning broke into a full-blown waddling sprint towards it paying no mind to other shoppers or the rickety train carrying children driven by a teenage conductor heading straight for him [Granted it was a good three stores away but the sight of their oncoming collision course as theoretical as it may have been, still gives me chills]. It took me a full thirty seconds to tackle him, and while the sandals were admittedly at remarkably good deals, it still didn’t merit a Filenes running of the bride reenactment.

Ofcourse it made me re-question my stance on the leash. The one dressed up like monkeys or bunnies [and once I saw a child on an actual leash made for dogs not gussied up with any fuzzy creature]. Pre-parenthood I admit it, when I saw parents trotting their children with these leashes I judged them. But now, while I’m still not at a place where I think he needs a leash since he sits just fine in a stroller or the Ergo I do get it- funny the parenthood thing, one has the most opinions on the matter right before they actually are parents.

It appears he was hungry [and since most of our trips are to grocery stores, perhaps his hungry belly simply saw a store and thought therein must lie food]. I sat across from the Go.diva Shop in the mall to feed him and as I saw the trickle of people [by which I mean one person in thirty minutes who stopped in and purchased a truffle.] I wondered- how do they stay in business in the malls? As I stared at the lacksadaisacal store employees I couldn’t help think of Breaking Bad and Los Pollos Hermanos and while I know the elite chocolatier chain sells just chocolates I couldn’t help think what a nifty money laundering operation it could be should they be one. Which they’re not. Ofcourse. But. It speaks to how amazing that show is and how thoroughly it messes with your head. [If you don’t watch Breaking Bad and this paragraph made entirely no sense, you really should catch up- its awesome]

Leashing, laundering, and Dillard’s. I told you it was random. Thoughts? Any randomness floating your boat today?

9 thoughts on “Random thoughts of the mallish sort”

  1. Love it!
    I was sitting with 10 month old in Caribou waiting on 3 yr old to finish up his Science Museum class.
    My thoughts:

    How come you never notice how dirty public spaces are until you have a child?

    Why is it completely inappropriate (based on the customer stares) to let a baby babble, but people are so very rude and loud on their cell phones?

    Why does the breakfast sandwich I used to crave taste so bad now that I have “cleansed” my palette with the whole, raw, un-processed fresh, organic foods?

    The group of foreign men that just came in for the business meeting– are they investors? Do they know that they just ordered iced tea rather than hot tea? Do they think we Americans look absolutely frumpy?

    What can I “accomplish” today to feel worthwhile? Tough daily thought in the absence of a “real job” and paycheck.



  2. Leigh Ann, I LOVE IT- this should be your own blog post 🙂 It's true about dirty public spaces and the babbling that turns heads though loud chatter on phones does not. And about cleansing your palette, I'd love to hear more about how you did this Leigh Ann because I want to do the same. Do you have a blog post about this?


  3. I have not adopted any formal cleanse. The changes we made have obviously impacted my palette, though. Every time I eat out, all I can taste are sugars, sugars, sugars. Don't get me wrong- I still eat and crave (dark chocolate) every now and again. Over time– changing to foods with less ingredients makes foods with lots of preservatives, sugars and ingredients taste very bad.


  4. Oh, I love random.

    I thought Breaking Bad started out fine, but it got crazier and crazier. And I somehow fell out with characters. It is one thing to cook drugs because you need money to pay for your cancer treatments and to leave your family something should the unthinkable happen, and another to just get used to it and to killing and turning it into a business.

    Playgrounds are nice, but I am still to find something safe for George.

    Ladies, please don't get me wrong, but I think you are talking about cleasing your palate, as in roof of the mouth, right? Not the painter's palette where colours are mixed? Or is it something, a nuance that eludes me?


  5. Kmina- yes it got very twisted with time [Brekaing Bad] but I liked it- it was like peeping into the life of people who had “broken bad” and you get to see how other characters who seemed so upright can also turn- it feels like a study of humanity- but i do not have sympathy for Walter White anymore. I mean if the show ended with him dead by a bullet- I wouldn't cry- but its a fascinating show.

    Yes, I we're talking about cleansing our palates, lol, not our painting tools- thanks for the laugh out loud laugh!!! 🙂


  6. Don't watch that show but cracked up at the thought of laundering money through a place called Los Pollos Hermanos… hee hee.

    I don't know how some of these places stay in business either – have wondered the same thing about several places.

    As for child leashes – told you – they may not make you look like the best parent in the world but boy are they useful. LOL.

    My kids are too old for leashes but since we're traveling abroad next week I still get worried they'll get lost. I had dog tags made for them, (at a machine … for dogs… for tags for their collars.) … My boys won't wear them on a collar but I put the local address (of where we're staying abroad), on the tags for them to carry with them to show a police officer in case. LOL.


  7. We love out little lion leash, Simba. R kisses & hugs him before we clip Simba on & he toddles around happily with it for ages.

    I don't use it to tug on the baby, I keep it loose & teach him how to cross a road & how to be aware of surroundings. It's a safety-guard in case he dashes out suddenly.

    It's not optional in a city environment – we have busy roads right outside our apartment. It's also good to have at airports. If you think it would work for you & W, try it out now as once they're older they often don't want to wear it.


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