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When words are futile

He’s not pointing. Or saying words.

Like other kids.

And you say it doesn’t affect you. That all children learn and grow at their own pace. But somewhere deep inside: you wonder: why not? And just like that, with those two words, the small pebbles of worry seep into your skin like fine grains of sand rubbing your insides raw.

Then, today. When you get a phone call- the kind of call that makes you sink to the floor. That makes you forget where you are, or what you are, all labels teacher, lawyer, writer, stripped away until you stare at the bare bones of what a person is, a mother, a wife, a child. You are always your parent’s child.

And you hear the soft padded footsteps of chubby feet and look up to see your son walking towards you. He pauses a brief moment. Examines your tear-soaked face with a concern he cannot articulate but is expressed on his small chubby face. And you feel him wrap his baby arms around you before pulling back to wipe away each tear as it trails down your face. 

And in that moment you forget the pointing. And the words not yet spoken, because all you see is love; pure unadulterated love that words can never properly express. And you want nothing more than for this little being with the toothless smile to never ever receive a phone call that speaks of anything but sunshine, daffodils and daisies while knowing that’s just not possible.

A parent’s love is unlike any other love, my father said to me years ago. As I watched my son’s sleeping figure tonight, I thought of my own parents decades ago watching over me. Love takes many different forms but a parent’s love occupies an island all its own.

If your eyes read across these words, if you are the praying sort, please keep my family in your prayers. All is well. Please God, let it remain so.

27 thoughts on “When words are futile”

  1. I want to tell you to please not worry but I guess that is not going to help. InshaAllah, it will all remain well. Ameen.
    Love,
    A.

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  2. Hoping everything is all right with everyone in your family & KNOWING everything is all right with Waleed. Any baby with this much empathy and compassion at such a young age has nothing wrong with him. Thinking of you, my friend, and keeping you all in my prayers.

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  3. …have said a prayer for you and your family…hope all's well that ends well…

    ash

    ps …isn't it amazing how children instinctively respond/react when they see us laughing or crying?…so young and yet so much wisdom…

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  4. Aisha, I've been thinking about you since I read this early in the morning, sending my love, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

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  5. I'm keeping your family in my thoughts in prayers. InshAllah things will be alright. In the meantime, you are clearly doing a good job as a mom. Waleed sounds like an amazing and sweet child.

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  6. De-lurking to say thoughts and hopes are with you and yours.

    Although developmental milestones are probably far from your mind at this stage, I'll tell you that my daughter, also just turned one, and also does not say words. Not a mama or dada or baba or anything approaching a consonant. She'll get there when she gets there. So will Waleed.

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  7. I am all worried now. I hope you're okay. Here's a virtual ((hug)). My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care of yourself.

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