I’m beginning to believe you can’t get through life without having your heart broken at least a handful of times but not all heartbreaks are the romantic sort. Broken friendships can hurt just as much. I was reminded of this the other day, of a friendship I thought as solid as the ground I walk upon, that one day, was gone- without a trace or explanation. Years ago I wrote about the risk of trust:
When I decide to trust someone, it’s me putting my heart in my hands, cradling it carefully and placing it on the floor. They can turn and step upon it, they can pick it up and cradle it. It’s frightening to be this vulnerable.
Its the risk you take allowing someone into the deepest chambers of your trust. Sometimes the risk pays off, as my dear friends are testaments to, but other times you’re rewarded with splinters as someone walks right on it without looking back. While you can pull out the splinter, the thing with splinters? A small piece always remains.
Waleed and I had a play-date today with the lovely ‘Murgdan‘ and her beautiful son- who if its possible is even more precious in person. Not only was it nice to meet a nice down-to-earth mama, it was amazing to see the two babies interact, banging their cookies on the table, tugging each other’s shirts, hands, [and sometimes hair] and smiling at one another, with curiosity and without guile- simply sincerity- because as babies- they are the living embodiment of sincerity stripped of manipulations and pretense with no designs to hurt anyone. Unadulterated.
Children this young hold their hearts in their hands open to the world with no conception that someone can crush it- until it happens. As a former teacher of children too small to read, I know it starts young, and as his mother I’m terrified of the day it happens. Seeing the object of my splintered pain from the past, I looked at my son, grinning his toothless grin, I couldn’t help but silently hope: may you never be hurt by the changing winds of the hearts of others, and more importantly may you never ever be the cause of someone else’s splintering kind of pain.