health, life

When "at least" isn’t enough

At Least. I’m an expert of At Least. The children I represent have health problems ranging from cerebral palsy to cancer. To stop the grief from consuming you, you say At Least. She cant stand but at least she can sit, so he cant sit at least he can see, so she cant see at least she can hear, so he cant hear at least he can eat. So he cant eat at least he can smile. I try not to let it get to me but sometimes like today as I stood in line to get coffee and watched a wheelchair bound child suffering from spasms as IV’s ran through his body his face contorted unable to speak, the feelings overwhelmed me and I found myself unable to find a bright side to the suffering of this child. Several times at the mall I’ve heard an excited young voice say “Ms Iqbal?!” and a giddy former student run to embrace me. I cherish those moments but within the halls of this hospital my secret fear is hearing them call my name. I pray I never do.

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