I went to contest a traffic ticket I got a few months ago. I hate confrontation and the thought of appearing before a judge to defend myself intimidated me. But I thought- right is right, and I did nothing wrong. So armed with evidence I took the stand. I had truth on my side- justice would prevail: It didn’t. Long story short the judge sided with the cop’s version of the story.
This morning I got a response from the better business bureau regarding the issue I had with Mind Body Day Spa. I normally wouldn’t have done it but did so in the spirit of standing up for myself. I had truth on my side- justice would prevail: It didn’t. Long story short, they took the spa’s word over mine.
Knowing how difficult it was for me to stand up for myself and knowing I lost twice and knowing there’s usually something to be learned from every event in life I can’t help but wonder-what’s the lesson here? Aisha, you know how you get nervous about standing up for yourself and usually don’t? Yeah, how about you go back to doing just that. I’m batting zero for two and to put salt to my wounds I’m a soon to be lawyer! Aren’t I supposed to walk into a courtroom flash a big grin throw my hair to the side and passionately show the wisdom in reason? Was I never meant to be a lawyer, was it silly to spend three years trying? My friends insist thats unrue though agree a career as a traffic attorney probably isn’t in the cards for me.
Though I know the world is not made of chocolate pudding, seeing the darker side of people disappoints and hurts me each time I encounter it. But recently I saw a show on forgiveness. She said its not as much about forgiveness as it is about letting the anger and frustration go and moving on. When I think of the judge with his passionless eyes and the police officer lying with a straight face I feel an overwhelming sadness and frustration I can’t shake. But whats the practical result of dwelling? The frustration and bitterness doesn’t reach out and tap the person who caused it telling them how they’ve upset me. No- they will never know how they made me feel, and it is all together 100% likely they won’t care. If I sit here upset about the injustice…. I know its nothing but heading down a path from which comes no good.
Researchers found happier people didn’t dwell on the sadness and disappointments in their life, and when encountering bad situations and let things go. Unhappy folks tended to replay the experience, dwell and internalize and hurt. I guess it comes down to a choice you make to either move on, dwell on it, or fake it till you make it. I think its important to believe that though justice may not come in the way I tried I will take respite in that even Justin Timberlake has reminded us that “what goes around comes back around” While I don’t know if I can forgive and forget I can at least try to let it go and trust in the cosmic balance of life.