I’m not a spa type of girl. I wish I was. I wish I could squeal at a nice feminine pitch that it was time for my monthly facial or that my pedicure last week was better than my pedicure this week but I dont. I wish I did. I make plans to be that sorta girl. I’ve even marked it in my calender at particularly ambitious times but it never happens.
Now I know why.
A friend as a token of appreciation for our helping him with his wedding got me and two friends a spa day at the local fancy schmancy spa (Mind & Body Day spa)
So we go for facials that cost booko insane amount of money the sort you can’t justify spending on your own (so its fitting it was a gift because aint no way that kind of money will be used for what I can do by sticking my head over boiling pasta). So buko crazy money facial which should last an hour (though for what they charged, I say it should’ve covered weekly facials for at least 12 years) lasts a mere 20 minutes for what seriously felt like (though my eyes remained closed) my head stuck over some boiling rotini. So just as I’m starting to relax and not giggle at the silly mood music but feel relaxed enough to, you know, really feel the silly mood music, the music shuts off, fluorescent lights come on and we’re wheeled out to confront a bevy of creams and lotions staring at us as the staff looks at us like gleaming clowns. Because, as Zainab puts it politely, I’m what they say in the sales industry an easy sale or because, as I put it, I have a sign that says “SUCKER” on my forehead that I haven’t managed to locate yet I buy a cream. As we drive to lunch I look at the cream and see that the “WARNING DO NOT USE PRODUCT IF SEAL IS TORN” is in fact, torn. So I go back:
Me: Excuse me, the seal, its torn off. I’d like my money back.
Me: *silence* why?
Buballoo: No refunds.
Me: Where does it say that?
Buballoo: On your receipt.
Me: But your no refund policy is not posted in the store….
Buballoo: Ahem. Its on your receipt.
Me: So you tell me no refunds after I already bought it and its too late?
Buballoo: Um. I guess
Me: *summoning my super teacher-lawyer powers* I want my money back… this was opened and possibly used.
Buballoo: *slightly succumbing to my powers of good but fighting back admirably with her powers of pure money grubbing evil* Ok. But only the director can do that. She’s not in. I’ll keep the cream. Call tomorrow to get your refund.
Me: Can you give me something that says you took the cream, something in writing that I’ll get my money back?
Buballoo: Blinking. Huh?
Me: Write on a paper that you said I’ll get my money back and sign it.
Buballoo: *starting to melt like a certain lady on the Wizard of OZ, starts huffing as she writes what I say down* Then as I hold out my hand to take said paper she sticks it on the cream knocking it down in an angry fashion and puts it on the shelf.
Me: Consider clarifying why I wanted her to write it down.. but seeing the meltdown about to unfold I say to myself: “If she’s keeping the cream I dont think there’ll be a problem, they have the cream, they have to give me my money back”
I thought wrong.
Next day, I call the director as instructed (for a visual think Angela from The Office, particularly toay when she was doing customer service) :
Bobo: NO REFUNDS.
Me: I was told yesterday I’d get a refund... the bottle was open.
Bobo: YEAH! BECAUSE YOU USED IT! YOU USED IT! DONT LIE!!!!
Me: No, I had JUST gotten a facial and had JUST left the store…
Bobo: THAT’S RIGHT! NO REFUND!!
Me: She kept the product! You’re keeping the cream and not refunding me??
Me: That’s ridiculous!
Bobo: YES! GOODBYE! *click*
*I’m thoroughly convinced I heard the swish of a cape and the scraping of a broom as she hung up, but that is ofcourse, strictly conjuncture*
SERIOUSLY!?! Since this incidence I noticed everyone has bad spa experiences. Not hit or miss. Just all miss. So now I’m wondering is this just an everyone thing? Lots of you described the you dont deserve to be here expression of spa workers with relative uniformity (think Ugly Betty’s co-workers). For an unscientific survey, have you experienced good spa service? Do you ever feel you’ve been discriminated against?