Ok- so none of you anticipated it at all, much less, much but it felt like a nice title and since Im recovering from a heavy duty cold- fluish thing, can’t I be a bit grandiose with my title? Recently I read a review about the best coffee franchises in the country. I’m more of a tea person, however, law school has helped me appreciate the finer points of coffee such as providing one with the ability to keep one’s eyes open to study for longer than they previously thought humanly possible. After three years of diligent coffee consumption I thought I’d share my reviews on the famous franchises. Agree? Disagree? Do tell!
Dunkin’ Donuts: Safe and reliable. Not too bitter, not too bland. Nothing to do jumping jacks for, yet nothing to point out as flawed. However its one drawback proves fatal for me, in order to consume their coffee one must position themselves in the front line of donuts on a daily basis. Can anyone be so strong?
Seattle’s Best Coffee:What a bold proposition to make about one’s coffee all the way on the other end of the country. Honey you may be the best in Seattle, but you are certainly not the best here. Your bold hubris filled statement makes me want to travel to Seattle and simply prove you wrong. If however what you assert is true and you are truly Seattle’s best, the people of Seattle are quite coffee deprived.
Starbucks: Starbucks should be your beverage of choice if and only if:
a) there is no other coffee shop within a forty mile radius
b) Walking around with the logoed cardboard cup makes you feel cool, young and chic.
c) You frankly adore the taste of stale, burnt coffee. I’ve never tasted the discard of cigarettes thrown together in a pot and cooked for an hour. But I imagine this coffee tastes justlike that.
I know I sound unreasonably bitter (ha) about Starbucks but in my defense, for many years I hated coffee because I thought, if Starbucks is the coffee darling of the world, and I hate their coffee, why, I must hate coffee. Oh Starbucks, you took the best coffee drinking years of my life!
Caribou Coffee: I had an interesting experience here best shared by example
Me: I’d like a small iced coffee please
Bob: We just got a great caramel flavor, how about I just throw that in? We’re trying to see if people like it!
Me: Um, ok, thanks!
Bob: Tell ya what, Ill go ahead and mix in some vanilla *starts mixing*
Me: *not really wanting vanilla but seeing its too late take out $1.64 to pay*
Bob: Ok, this will be *ringing register* $5.24.
Caribou, your coffee’s okay (though a bit too watery for my taste). But are you that hurting for business that you dupe your customers into buying more than they wanted? And for the record, iced coffee with a shot of caramel and vanilla is not my cup of tea!
You might be thinking well Negative Nancy what do you recommend? Ladies and gents I’m sorry to say that as of the date of this post I have yet to find a coffee franchise I can stand behind (though recent reviews indicate McDonald’s is fab- but again, its the whole being in the line of fire of thousands of McMuffins that proves fatal for me). I do enjoy frequenting a few local “mom-pop” type of cafe’s that I absolutely adore. My suggestion? Find your local mom-pop coffee shop where they grind the beans fresh, and keep it fresh all day, where they know your name and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Try, and try again and soon you’lll find your favorite little nook. Here’s a jump start!