life

On the elasticity of bungee cords

As a human being who lives life not shuttered away inside a giant cocoon I have been hurt and disappointed plenty in my life. My own stress, frustration and tears I can take but the same in those I love I simply cannot bear. If I love you I want nothing more than for you to be happy, eat kosher marshmallows, and frolic in gardens. Any hint or smell of pain or stress or devastation and I am suddenly a mama bear guarding her cubs with fierce devotion. But unlike a mama bear, the wolves and tigers that lurk near those I love are not necessarily tangible beings I can simply stand guard in front of and frighten away and that is the most painful feeling in all the world. If something isn’t going well I want to know how I can fix it and if I can’t fix it I want to know who can. And if no one can, then I feel like my heart has sunk to the bottom of a dark, airless well and I cannot find the ropes to take me back up to land.

So what is my conclusion? I guess I have no conclusion. Life is unexpected and life can be unfair. I wish I could wrench away all the aches and heartbreaks of my loved ones and balance them solely upon my shoulders but they aren’t mine to wrench. All I can do is stand at the precipice, hold their hands as they jump and pray as hard as I can for elastic bungee cords.

11 thoughts on “On the elasticity of bungee cords”

  1. Thanks Suroor! Unfortunately that is the problem, my being this way does not eliminate any of the sadness in the world…. I just stand by helplessly with the sadness seeping into my own pores.

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  2. Ah, you are where I was some days ago! Don’t worry, it will pass.

    Eating helps, but don’t do a lot or else you will soon be depressed again! Spending time with loved ones, physical activities (SQUASH) and going for a drive down the city helps.

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  3. Your such a nice person to genuinely want good things for others! I wish more people thought like you, instead its sad but there are a lot of people who like to put others thru the same misery they once went thru.

    I totally agree with you on wanting to make things right for friends that are hurting, only I get so fed up with friends who I feel are responsible for the situations they get themselves in, yet are unwilling to change their ways to improve. I wish I knew how to handle them better.

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  4. French, thanks šŸ™‚ And I never said I don’t want you here!

    Mezba so was the depression triggered by a similar situation? And yes eating does help the feeling but then it creates other bad feelings such as guilt you know šŸ™‚

    Abcdlaw, aw thanks. As for friends who create their own drama… I had a lot of friends like that once upon a time and I agree patience begins wearing thin after a while.

    Khonika thanks sweetie! šŸ™‚

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  5. What a wonderful words of compassion for the ones you love. I believe this is a true testement of who you really are.

    “Great love has no one but this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Jn. 15:13 NIV

    I hope this was just a “thought” and you wanting to share it and not a time where you are watching a loved one and unable to help.

    You are truly mother material! :):)

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