As a human being who lives life not shuttered away inside a giant cocoon I have been hurt and disappointed plenty in my life. My own stress, frustration and tears I can take but the same in those I love I simply cannot bear. If I love you I want nothing more than for you to be happy, eat kosher marshmallows, and frolic in gardens. Any hint or smell of pain or stress or devastation and I am suddenly a mama bear guarding her cubs with fierce devotion. But unlike a mama bear, the wolves and tigers that lurk near those I love are not necessarily tangible beings I can simply stand guard in front of and frighten away and that is the most painful feeling in all the world. If something isn’t going well I want to know how I can fix it and if I can’t fix it I want to know who can. And if no one can, then I feel like my heart has sunk to the bottom of a dark, airless well and I cannot find the ropes to take me back up to land.
So what is my conclusion? I guess I have no conclusion. Life is unexpected and life can be unfair. I wish I could wrench away all the aches and heartbreaks of my loved ones and balance them solely upon my shoulders but they aren’t mine to wrench. All I can do is stand at the precipice, hold their hands as they jump and pray as hard as I can for elastic bungee cords.