humor, school

Lonely? Tazo will come through for you!

I am under a lot of stress these days for various reasons resulting in my pacing more than is necessary and consuming massive amounts of chocolate. Today as the evening progressed I found that I couldn’t sleep and couldn’t study so I decided to clean the kitchen. As I putter about I see a free sample of tazo chamomile tea. Tazo and its attempt to be all “new age” despite the fact that it and I both know that it is infact nothing but a big heartless corporation posing annoys me. As a tea aficiando I do not smile fondly upon people who attempt silly slogans to pimp tea.

Case in point: As I debate whether I should try it I read the back which promises me that a single cup of Tazo has been known to have the same effect as sitting for 45 minutes in a mountain meadow on a sunny day with your shoes off. You know you’ve been in law school too long when before you even shudder at the cheesiness of it all you search for fine print disclaiming such a stupid sentence or at least providing citations towards quantitative proof verifying their bold assertion. Still, it was free tea, and though somewhat of a tea snob, I am desi and free chai is free chai no matter how silly the producers of said chai may be.

Alas I wish I had not brewed as long as I had for as I waited I had the misforune of seeing the very bottom lines on the bag:

Yes, you read correctly, it encourages you to contact them if you have comments, observations or simply want a bit of human contact. I will not even address the fact that they ask you to allow two weeks of this lifetime for a response. Do people actually write for simply a bit of human contact?

Dearest Tazo,

Wassup? N2M here! Its totally cool to get some human contact. I like cats, chips, and coco puffs. I also like bubble gum but only if its extra bubblilicious. Anywayz, write back soon!

Love ya lots!!


Seriously Tazo, it’s not as cute as you think. Though grudgingly I admit their chamomile tea is pretty good. But am I willing to give up my self respect to drink more? Jury’s out on this one.

25 thoughts on “Lonely? Tazo will come through for you!”

  1. Yes, Tazo does try to be the “hip” tea company, and it doesn’t help that places that advertise themselves as “hip,” like Starbucks for example, tend to sell it. However, you’d think they would lay off when it comes to the whole “contact us” thing–that’s just nuts. I wonder if anyone has ever called them in order to seek out human contact.


  2. I drank Tazo tea hundreds of time and never imagined in my dream that the wrapper I am throwing away has written this s**t. What a commercial bluff. Just like you go to lamaz class !!!!


  3. slskenyon, welcome to the blog. thanks for feeling my pain. I’ve always found them as whatever.. but yes with their “human contact” they crossed a line. Not sure what line that is, but it was crossed! πŸ™‚Mystic, lamaze and Tazo? Who knew? πŸ™‚Lawrence, welcome to the blog! wow. never would have thunk it!Mezba, yes… promptly after posting I went upstairs and crashed. lol 😦 Why can you read the sleep deprviation between the lines?


  4. LOL – Great post. Reassuring to know I’m not the only one whose thoughts get carried away πŸ˜‰ Hee hee…I like the Celestial Seasonings Teahouse Chai (decaf) Original Indian Spice. It’s great with 2 Splenda packets and a drop of milk…. I like reading their boxes, too. I’ve been reading them since I was a little girl while my Mom brewed me some Chamomile when I wasn’t feeling well πŸ™‚I totally dare you to write a letter to Tazo. PLEASE! That would be so entertaining. Hee hee…Reminds me of a book I read. < HREF="" REL="nofollow">Idiot Letters by Paul Rosa<>.You should pick it up. It was hilarious. I actually owned a copy and lost it when we moved 2 years ago 😦


  5. Shaz, welcome πŸ™‚Muslim Wife, oh come on dear!!! lol no, I will not mail it. Sheesh! πŸ™‚ Oh the tag, I did that a few months ago… thanks for tagging though!!! I love memes.Anon: πŸ˜‰Koonj!! Really? My sleep is that obvious? Uh oh 😦 I feel I am getting rest but not good rest I guess..Tee, so are you calling me an idiot. Sniff 😦 lol πŸ™‚ Well I will have to read that. I read a book like that once when I worked at a book store it was a guy who wrote letters as a joke to companies with weir issues and his book was a compliation of his letters and the hilarious replies, lol πŸ™‚


  6. YOU are a total crack-up! I’m a die hard coffee drinker so I can’t say much about the tea. However, the packaging is a bit bizarre, lol. Maybe they have an outreach program as well as selling tea…..I mean with the human contact thing and all, lol!!Geez, do you really think people DO that?! If so, they should probably be sipping something other than tea. LOL!! :):)


  7. Did the tea wake you up? I heard that the longer you keep the tea bag in, the more caffeine you get (okay, DUH Nadia! that was a given)…meh, I need coffee.Hain? Wait, I thought you were a COFFEE person??? *bewafa!!*


  8. Mommyblogr yes I agree with your final statement. That is just SO sad. 😦Enyur no I’m a tea lover first and foremost, but during times that I actually need to stay awake bad then coffee is my drug of choice πŸ™‚ that post I discuss this situation that I encounter where I must turn to coffee….What coffee do you prefer btw? I am not a huge fan of Starbucks these days it tastes kind of stale…k


  9. I’m Kelly, from Thailand, and I’m 15 y.o Hi, All I’ve studied English sinse this Winter . It’s very difficult for Me! Really hard! I want like to meet girls and practisice My English with them. Thanks all!!


  10. When i was a silly teenager i used to call those numbers for fun and just blab about whatever question was on my mind those days. It can be a lot of fun lol. I always did it with an audience though so it wasn’t a qustion of lonliness. πŸ™‚


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